5 Easy Ways To Raise Your Self-Esteem

Long before I was doing what I do now, I was a high-achieving woman, highly-motivated, ‘alpha’ female that just wanted to feel beautiful, feel proud of my life and my accomplishments, and simply be HAPPY!

So I went and did what any woman would do with (a lot) of weight to lose, a hope, and a dream:

★ I went on every diet, plan, and program I could imagine.
★ I hired coaches, joined masterminds, and attended retreats and events.
★ I even went back to therapy!

And it worked…to an extent.

But fast forward to the part where I ‘had it all’ – to the part in the story where I SHOULD have been happy and content.

That’s not how the story went down AT ALL.

In reality, even AFTER I lost one-third of my body weight, built a successful business, and checked off all those proverbial ‘tick-boxes’ I thought I needed to be happy…

I was NOT happy.

And that’s because while I was so busy and intentional about ‘fixing’ everything OUTSIDE of me. I never went and changed what was going on INSIDE.

I never went and transformed my Self-Image.

And I kept running into the same kind of ‘wall’ that I’m assuming you keep running into!

“Everywhere I went, there I was!”

No matter how ‘skinny’, ‘rich’, or ‘powerful’ I became in my life, my body, or my career…

I never felt ENOUGH!

Fill in the blanks:

★ Smart enough
★ Pretty enough.
★ Successful enough
★ Loveable enough
★ ENOUGH…period!

And that’s because I truly believe that:

“What you SEE is who you BE.”

…which is to say, of course, that how you’re showing up in your life– whether that’s physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially or relationally is a DIRECT reflection of what you see as being true about YOURSELF… relative to each of these areas.

If you SEE yourself as beautiful and loveable and irreplaceable then then you BE someone who shows up in the world as beautiful and loveable and irreplaceable.

What you SEE is who you BE.

If, on the other hand, you SEE yourself as imperfect, flawed, ugly, unloveable, and unworthy, then you’ll BE the person who meets the circumstances of your life as that person.

Again, what you SEE is who you BE.

That’s why doing the ‘out there’ work (the diets, the gym, the goal-based or motivational ‘stuff’) never works for most women, because they will ONLY ever BE the person that they SEE.

What you SEE is who you BE.

True transformation begins with the Self-Image.

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

For the most part, the whole self-love ‘movement’ missed the mark for me.

I mean I see the same over messages you’re probably seeing too?

Things like:

“Just love yourself no matter what!”

-OR-

Self-Love conquers all!”

But all of those mantras and platitudes just never seemed to resonate with me.

And I’ll tell you for damn sure: They never WORKED for me either.

I mean how to do you go from ‘hating on’ yourself and criticizing yourself your entire life…

…to fully accepting and loving yourself just because someone told you that you ‘should’?

Well...you don’t. And you won’t. At least not from my experience.

Because Self-Love has a unique recipe. It has its own magical ingredients.

And I truly believe that if you leave even just ONE of these ingredients out, you’ll miss the mark completely.

As in, you’ll always be looking OUTSIDE yourself for something that you’re truly looking to feel (dying to feel!) on the inside.

You’ll always be looking for external circumstances or opinions or factors…

★ To comprise YOUR happiness and fulfillment.
★ To give you YOUR meaning and definition and identity.
★ To determine YOUR worth, YOUR purpose, YOUR value in this world.

How do I know this?

Well...I tried skipping steps!

I tried cutting corners and fast-forwarding through the process. I tried leaving out ingredients.

★ I tried looking to somebody else (anyone else!) to tell me who I was.
I tried looking to someone else to tell me exactly what I was worth.
★ I tried looking to someone else to tell me exactly how to care for myself.
I tried looking to someone else to tell me what I need, when I need it, how I need it, and who I need it from.

And it left me feeling...well...the OPPOSITE of love for myself.

I encompassed the OPPOSITE of Self-Acceptance. And it continued to stay this way until I crafted my own recipe, and I believe that every single woman on this planet has her own unique recipe too (men too, but I’m talking to you ladies!)

That when the recipe is crafted (and then followed), it hands-down-every-time brings the ‘chef’ from feeling:

★ Disempowered.... To EMPOWERED
Lacking clarity...to having full belief in self
★ Looking externally for other's opinions...to feeling self-endorsed
Full of Doubt... to full of CERTAINTY
★ Undefined.... to DEFINED (Clear on who she is and who she wants to be)
Shakeable... to UNshakeable

(That’s why I call it becoming your most UNshakeable self).

So would YOU like to know the magical ingredients to my beloved recipe?

It’s your lucky day 😉

Because not only is this recipe ‘transferrable’ to anyone who comes across it, but I’m going to be  share this recipe with you right now!

The 5 Ingredients (Goggles) Of Your Self-Image:

Ingredient #1: Self-Care:  Figuring out what it would take for you to care for yourself (as a verb and a noun) physically, mentally, socially/emotionally.

Do you truly feel like you know how to take CARE of yourself?

I have found that most women don't.

They might know how to 'get fit' or 'get healthy' for a little while, but after adversity strikes they go right back to their default.

Or maybe you know how to take care of yourself PERSONALLY, but on the mental and emotional levels, you feel like you need some help?

Self-Care is a 3-dimensional conversation.

And when it comes to YOUR Self-Image, that means knowing what you need (and what it would take) to care for yourself Mentally, Physically, and Emotionally. In other words, it's about taking care of all 3 of your brains. (We'll talk more about those 3 brains later on).

But the other thing is: Self-Care is PERSONAL!

You can’t use someone else’s formula, ‘prescription’, or recipe.  You need your own! One that works WITH you and FOR you, created BY you.

Ingredient #2: Self-Acceptance:  Figuring out what it would look like (and feel like) for you to fully accept yourself without exception. Figuring out how to accept WHO you are and WHERE you are (without all that shame, blame, guilt, comparison, and perfectionism).

What it would feel like for you to fully accept yourself without exception?

I mean FULL accept yourself-- 'warts' and all.

Most women are walking around REJECTING themselves, feeling DISCONNECTED from themselves, and actively focusing on the things that they don't ACCEPT about themselves. This is a major problem when it comes to your Self-Image.

But there's another ‘side’ of Self-Acceptance that doesn't get talked about very much:

Learning to accept where you are, who you are, and ‘what is’.

Because the truth is:  You can’t go back and change what already happened! Where you are RIGHT now (in your life, your body, your journey)...

...You can't change that part. It's already taken place!

Everything that that has happened has brought you to this moment in the 'here and now'. And wishing it away, shaming it, blaming it, or comparing it is not only a 'losing game', but it will cause you to live your life in the PAST.

So here's what I say about it:

You don’t always have to LIKE everything about yourself, your body, your circumstances.

And you're allowed to want to go change those things, 'upgrade' yourself, or 'up-level' elements of your life.

But I invite you to learn to accept where you are, who you are, and what IS while you go.

Because what's the alternative?

Rejecting Yourself. Disconnecting from yourself. And living your life looking BACKWARDS -- living your life in the PAST?

You DO have another option: You can learn Self-Acceptance like it's a skill (like riding a bike or playing the tuba).

Remember:   What you SEE is who you BE.

You look for rejection, disconnection, and disappointment, and you'll find it -- you'll BE it.  You look for acceptance, connection, and care (see also: LOVE), and you'll find it -- you'll BE it.

Ingredient #3: Self-Worth:  Understanding what you are ‘weighing’, what you are measuring, and the 'currency' that you are living your life (judging yourself) by.

What are you 'weighing' and what are you measuring?

Are you judging yourself 24 hours a day based on the size of your jeans, your career status, or the number of 'likes' you got on Facebook?

Or are YOU defining and setting the 'currency' that you want to be measuring yourself by and working towards THAT?

Are you valuing yourself based on that currency of your choosing? Or are you valuing yourself based on the currency that you arbitrarily or subconsciously picked up along the way?

There’s nothing ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ about measuring your Self-Worth by any of those external factors. The problem arises when your Self-worth is comprised SOLELY of those factors.

Most women have never taken a look at this part of themselves.

I promise you: When it comes to YOUR Self-Image, how you are ‘weighing and measuring’ yourself absolutely 100% matters!

There is a way to create your own currency that would serve, move you in the direction you WANT to go, and make you feel happy while you go.

You just have to look for it. You have to bring it to life.

Ingredient #4 Self-Esteem:  Understanding the ‘know, like, and trust’ factor of yourself.

Do you know, like, and trust yourself?

Most women are walking around feeling very UN-trusting of themselves.

Because somewhere along the lines they stopped believing themselves when they made promises to themselves.

"Oh this time is going to be different".

"I'm going to start fresh, and this time I'll see it through!"

"Okay! I'm going to do X, Y, and Z 100% this week!"

They make these open-ended promises to themselves, but they don't take the time and intention to go 'upgrade' their Self-Esteem alongside it.

The way I see it: Most women have completely lost all TRUST in themselves.

And because they've never done 'the work' on their Self-Esteem, in turn:

★ They make promises that they don't want to make.
★ They make promises that they don't want to keep.
★They make promises that they don't CAN'T keep.

And the cycle continues.

So instead of having a relationship of TRUST and CONFIDENCE and RELIANCE on themselves...

They've entered into a relationship where all of those things are NEGOTIABLE.

And when that's the case (when your Self-Esteem and TRUST in yourself have become NEGOTIABLE)...

Your Self-Image KNOWS IT!

When it comes to up-leveling and re-wiring your Self-Image, it becomes a matter of understanding the "know, like, and trust" factor of yourself (and what it would take to ‘upgrade it), earning back your own TRUST, and making certain elements of your life ‘non-negotiable’.

Ingredient #5: Self-Endorsement:  Figuring out who you are (and how you feel about yourself) regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Here's the truth:

It’s not practical (or even possible) for any woman to “not care” what other people think about her. Our brains are WIRED to care -- especially the FEMALE brain! We are WIRED to actively notice other people's opinions and judgments MORE than the male brain (I'll share more about this specific part of the brain in another post)...

But here's what IS possible:

It's possible to figure out what would it take for YOU to value your own opinion of yourself more so (even just a little bit more so) than someone else’s opinion of you.

In other words: What would it be like if you didn’t NEED 'endorsement' from someone else to tell you who you are or tell you how much you’re worth or tell you how beautiful or desireable you are (or if you have ‘the right’ to feel that for yourself)?

Sure it's nice to get that confirmation and endorsement from others (you're only human!).

But what would it be like if you didn't NEED it from others and you could provide it for yourself?

What would your 'Self-Endorsed' self look like, talk like, walk like, think like, feel like?

Imagine how your Self-Image would be impacted if you were walking around SEEING your life through THOSE eyes?

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

So that’s it!

Those are the 5 Ingredients that make up YOUR Self-Image.

★ Self-Acceptance
★ Self-Care
★ Self-Worth
Self-Esteem
★ Self-Endorsement

THEY all add up to love.

THEY create your Self-Image that you walk around with, inside, and behind every second ever every single day…for the rest of your life.

'Investigating' every single ingredient is a paramount part of the process of re-wiring your Self-Image, and that's why every single one of the ingredients above were very intentionally placed in there.

If all of these ingredients are explored (and added), you’ll have a useable (and wash/rinse/repeatable) recipe and framework to fill in the blanks of what YOU personally need for your own Self-Image.  And this recipe will grow and evolve as you do.

If all of these ingredients are integrated and practiced, I KNOW that you will go from:

★ Feeling DISempowered... To EMPOWERED
★ Lacking clarity...to having full belief in self
Looking externally for other's opinions...to feeling self-endorsed
★ Full of Doubt... to full of CERTAINTY
Shakeable... to UNshakeable
★ Undefined... to DEFINED (Clear on who you are and who you want to be)
You’ll start feeding the LIGHT.

But I also know that on the converse, if you don’t take these steps, or if you skip any of the ingredients in this recipe...

★ You are going to be shakeable
★ You are always going to be looking to other people to tell you who you are, tell you who you aren’t
You are always going to be walking around looking for anything OUTSIDE of yourself to tell you what your purpose is, to give you meaning, and to determine your happiness.
★ You’ll KEEP feeding the darkness

I don’t say this to scare you, and I’m not trying to go all “doom and gloom” on you.

This is the truth as I’ve seen it and experienced it for myself…and for the countless women I’ve worked with.

This is the recipe to your FREEDOM.

I truly believe this with my whole heart.

The 5 Goggles of Your Self Image, Self Acceptance, Self Love, Self Esteem, Self Worth

(Click here to see full-size infographic)


Leanne is a straight-talking, science-loving educator & coach -- here to empower women to not just change how they LOOK on the outside, but change how they FEEL on the inside -- by breaking up with the thoughts that are holding them back & slipping into something a little more confident...

Although her 100 lb. weight loss was her main career driver initially, major spine surgery and the face-off between her “fat head” and “skinny head” led her down a road she could have never predicted and paved the way to create curriculums that help women Re-wire their Self-Image by taking a 3-D Mind/Body/Brain approach to their Transformation.

It's personal development meets neuro-psychology meets 'School of the Hard Knocks', and now she teaches women all over the world her own personal systems for how to Eat, Play, Love, AND Live through the science of Self-Imaging.

"Because if loving warm chocolate chip cookies is wrong, I don't wanna be right.”

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