I Truly Am A 'Mad Scientist'...

(How I Learned To Eat, Play, Love, AND Live)

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I am NOT a fitness expert, a health nut, or obsessed with my body
(not anymore at least)...

I"ll admit: I tried on all of those roles, but they all left me either:

  • Living in a body that made me unhappy

-OR-

  • Living in a body that pleased me, but in a way that left me really unhappy.

I went from feeling majorly out of control of my body, dependencies and addictions to food, and with complete disregard for my body...

To the opposite: Restriction, control, punishing my body, and convincing myself to do the things I thought I 'needed' to do to never go back to my old ways.

But the old stuff never went away. I just pushed it aside, locked it up, and worked my tail off to stay the course.

Until I finally said "I can't won't do this anymore! I'm 30 years old but if I keep practicing this way of living and being, pretty soon I'll be 40, then 50…"

And THAT scared the shit out of me. So I (literally) just stopped.

I said:

What if I just started listening to my body?

What if I started listening to my brain?

What if I started listening to my heart?

 

My body said: "You are friggin lucky! All this beating up and abusing of your body. You're lucky spine surgery and sugar addiction were the WORST of it. You've been choosing 'weight loss' over vitality and health and freedom for far too long… and I am feeling it!"

My brain said: "You are maxed out! You are overworked, overtrained, overscheduled, and (on top of that) you are STARVING me most of the time, then gluttonously over stuffing me. Then you furiously WORRY about it! It's almost like you know you have it 'handled' for now, but in the back of your mind you know you can't do this forever."

My heart said: "I'm done thinking, worrying, obsessing over my body, my weight, food, exercise, pumping myself up, being a good 'example', and trying to be perfect. I want to enjoy food, enjoy my body, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I want to wear what I want to wear, be who I want to be, live with freedom, permission, and choice -- not obligation, not because I feel stuck, and not because I am afraid of what would happen if I STOP controlling and restricting myself. I want my life back!

So here's what happened next...

  • I started to get to know my body for the first time ever: I started to look at it, touch it, feel it.
  • I started listening to my body.
  • I started listening to my hunger and cravings.
  • I started listening to my pains and frustrations.
  • I started listening to my desires.

Here I am FINALLY able to eat a delicious cheeseburger without the shame and without the guilt. I call it Food Freedom.

And then I started tuning into my body, hunger, pains, frustrations, desires… and created my life around THAT.

I focused on influencing all of those things in the direction I wanted them to go…instead of just riding the waves of momentum in the direction they were already going.

Here is what I discovered:

  • I found my body needed less work, not more.
  • I found my body needed more food, not less.
  • I found my heart and mind needed more care, less punishment.
  • I found my motivation and mojo needed less convincing, coercing, and persuading...and more fun.
  • I found my sanity needed less control, more choice and freedom.
  • I found that I needed less judgment and criticism, and more understanding.

So…

  • I started giving myself permission to meet myself and my body were I was.
  • I started attending to and serving my body what it needed.
  • I started caring for my joints and my brain.
  • I started using food for pleasure, as medicine, and for vitality.
  • I started using movement as a drug, as my therapy, and my healthcare and insurance policy.
  • I started seeking out ways to have more fun and enjoyment in my life.
  • I started seeking knowledge and understanding where I lacked acceptance and compassion.
  • I started getting to know my fat, accepting my fat, and influencing my fat.
  • I started asking myself how I feel and how I want to feel and basing my decisions on THAT.
  • I started looking for my own answers instead of looking for someone to give them to me.
  • I started looking for ways to please myself and make myself happy.

This picture was taken of me in 2014 at the Dead Sea in Israel. I'd been there about 5 times before this, but was always too ashamed to get it. Not this time.

Bottom line:

I simplified, removed, lightened, and eased my journey… gave myself what I require and what I desire…and made it fun and enjoyable.

I call it EnLIGHTENment.

I mean, what's the fun in having a body you love if you hate who you have to be to get there?

The result?

  • I am at my 'happy weight' all year long (and when I do want to 'tighten up' a bit, it's easy!)
  • I live a lifestyle based on freedom, permission, and choice.
  • I feel like I am the one in 'control' of my body and my life – not the other way around.
  • I live (for the most part) pain-free every day, and when I do have flareups, I know exactly what to do to take care of them.
  • I eat however I FEEL like eating -- I now know how to eat to keep my body looking, moving, and feeling happy.
  • I've completely changed my relationship with food, my body, and with myself... and in turn increased my confidence, self esteem, and body image.

My whole life I sat on the sidelines 'waiting for the weight' to do all the things I really wanted. Then at the age of 30 I learned how to roller skate, ice skate, paddle board, and hoolah hoop. Just to name a few. It's never too late to start living!

My Big FAT Experiment...

My life is essentially one big FAT experiment.

I truly am like a 'mad' scientist.

But I also love to share the 'what' the 'why' and the 'how' behind what I do, so you can understand things and REALLY benefit from my 'madness'.

So that's exactly what I do. I essentially peel back the curtain and show you how exactly I live my life: How I eat, how I move, how I live.

That also includes when I have the urge to 'bump it up' a notch…

I simply do it with the same 'rules' I live by every day:

No restriction, punishment, or drive-myself-crazy control. To me, that's a losing game. 

You see I have my routines, but just like you, I don't always do ALL I can do.

I too can feel lazy, unmotivated, a bit flat.

So you'll never hear me shouting at you from up high on some pedestal.

This isn't me saying "That whole struggle 'thing' was soooo 2014. I've evolved. I'm past that. Been there, done that."

Nope this is me STILL there, DOING it.

But I also know that I feel better when I do certain things regularly and consistently, and make my own self-care priority numero uno.

And even though I'm not particularly motivated by weight-loss anymore, I know a lot of women out there ARE, so I'm going to meet you where YOU are.

You see I truly believe that this whole Eat, Play, Love  'way' of living is indeed the fastest, easiest, simplest, and most enjoyable way for YOU to lose weight or transform your body....but it's also the guaranteed way to love your life in the meantime.

So as I share my ways of Eatin', Playin', and Lovin' with all you lovely ladies, just know I am officially double dog daring YOU to create your own Big Fat Experiment in your own life.

In the meantime, welcome to the Big Fat Experiment that is my life. I'm honored to have you be a part of it.

Get Inspired:

50% Complete

Almost There! Just complete one more step to download your free
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Download immediate access to
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